Emery, Wolves at The Gate, The Seeking.. Coming to Greenville May 3rd at the Channel

In one ear, out the other

After much thought and prayer, I decided that with my first non-introductory post I would write about something that is really close to me, but not that serious in the grand scheme of things: Music. I plan on hitting the hard subjects like Politics, Alcohol, Lust and the like in the coming days, so hang in there with me. I felt the need to talk about this because music is so multifunctional. It can reflect the mood you are in. It can be a way to relate to others. It can soothe and calm you in rough times. It can also just be fun. It is an important facet of all of our lives (most anyways). Now, I will say that I don't ever listen to the radio....EVER...I've found there is absolutely nothing of substance to be found on public radio. Not only does it fully display what is wrong with America, it does so in such a blatant, almost flamboyant way. Most who know me know that I've always like harder music..When I was in middle school and into my freshman year in High school, I was listening to the likes of Marilyn Manson, Rob Zombie, Korn and such. In 9th grade, I hit a crucial point with my walk with God. I was feeling the need to stop listening to such bands, but keep my passion for music intact. I switched to the underground Christian/positive rock scene. The first couple of Cds I got where bought for me by my mom at my request. Blindside's self titled CD, POD's "Fundamental Elements of South Town, and I believe a Switchfoot CD. I enjoyed these, but wanted more...I dug deep into this genre, hoping to uncover gems that I could witness with..I found Thousand Foot Krutch, Underoath, Relient K, Five Iron Frenzy, MXPX, Spoken, Skillet (Before they were popular). I made mix tapes, gave them to friends, and generally only listened to these types of bands. Some people liked them, others didn't. I was known for listening to "weird" music when people rode around with me in the Mustang. It was fun. Most importantly, it was something I felt like I could contribute with by strengthening my witness to others..I had people who were not too thrilled about it though. "It cannot be Christian music with all those guitars in it, all that screaming...all that noise is of the Devil." Some didn't care about the lyrics, rather the fact that maybe their church didn't agree with it..I remember one instance at Washington Avenue Baptist Church where me and some friends were listening to Relient K, arguably one of the most christian group of guys making music, in a room after a service...Just some youth hanging out, fellowshipping and such...A group of gentleman came by the room and were visibly angry with us, telling us to turn that "crap" off in the church. Ignorance is not appealing to me. This made me angry, but mostly strengthened my resolve to make this kind of music more popular and accepted. Some people's mind cannot be changed, however, so you have to pick your battles. Now, for me to elaborate on why this is so important to me. I've always listened to some secular music, but once I fell in with the a bad crowd in my late teens, I was more drawn to it...Music about partying, music about getting revenge, about being angry and hateful..I always had this nagging feeling though, and this music never satisfied my soul like previously..I found myself coming back to some of the positive Christian music from time to time. Some nights, this music literally saved me from making a horrible decision or getting into real trouble. It spoke to me like a human being. I dare to say that God realized this may be the only way to really get through to me at this time in my life. I spend many dark days with this being my only comfort. I couldn't just talk to God, I was too weak and too disconnected. But I felt that, especially in hindsight, that He was speaking to me.. "Don't wander to far, My son."  I'm 28 now, but still have a great passion for music. 99% of what I listened to is classified as Christian or Positive (Christian morals and principles without specifically mentioning God). I will still sit down with anyone and have discussions about it and make recommendations for substitutions for current bands they may be listening to. I don't care too much for contemporary Christian music, as it seems so watered down and void of true emotion. Seems like a lot of it is for the money, and the lyrics are so thoughtless and generic. If that is your thing, that's great, whatever floats your boat and helps you is awesome. I've found that I typically enjoy the hard, screaming genre, and here is why: I feel the passion..I can literally feel the difference Christ has made in the band's lives...Look up lyrics to any FOR TODAY songs...It is modern day preaching through music..The lead singer screams your face off, but  I love it. When I go to work in the morning, I play songs on my IPOD to set my mood for the day. It's my way of praise and worship. Sometimes I cry. I'll feel like I'm inadequate to God...undeserving...and I am...But I know that this is just one simple way that I can show some sort of devotion.. I'm going to end this post with a list of Bands that have helped me through the last couple of years. I'm always up to hearing new music, discussing and debating song meanings, and helping others discover new music. Please feel free to contact me on any of this. I am hoping, like with all of my blog posts, to create a forum for open discussion on this stuff.

Rock: Send By Ravens, I am Empire, Red, The Almost, Anberlin, The Classic Crime, Flyleaf,  Thousand Foot Krutch, Nine Lashes, Run Kid Run, Search The City, Secret and Whisper, Showbread, Skillet.

Punk/ Pop Punk: Flatfoot 56, MxPx, Relient K, Everyday Sunday.

Hardcore/ Post Hardcore: Norma Jean, Wolves at the Gate, Fit For a King, The Overseer, My Heart To Fear, Demon Hunter, Underoath, The Color Morale, For Today, I the Breather, Gideon, Thrice, Haste The Day, Oh Sleeper, August Burns Red.

Rap: None, can't stand even a second of it any more..I'm sure there is good, positive rap out there, I just don't care.

The First Post

This blog was inspired by conversations I've had with close friends and relatives over the last couple of years. On the surface, I'm a 28 year old with a wife and a son...I live in suburbia with two dogs and everything is perfect. Sound cliche yet? It gets worse....I've struggled over the years with self-destroying tendencies, numerous selfish decisions, and a constant feeling that there is something more I'm suppose to be doing with my life..I intend to cover some of these topics, through detailed blog posts, and hope to encourage a dialogue with others dealing with the same issues....I'm aware this will draw scrutiny, and some people with use these thoughts and feelings against me for whatever reason...I'm OK with that and let me tell you why: I've lived too long worrying about what others think of me instead of what I could be doing for others and myself...I grew up christian...at 19 I fell hard into some bad tendencies (drinking, smoking, cursing and the like) and had a bad following...This sounds like a normal young adult situation that most go through right? Wrong. I wasn't suppose to be like this...I had a strong foundation in Christian Morales that always scraped at my insides...Before I knew it, I had lost faith in God, the Church, and Christians in general... I wanted to live the way I wanted to live without judgment. I looked at all situations logically and decided that religion posed more questions than answers...I did this for years..Then something happened...My baby boy Luke was born on July 7th of 2010.  Let me explain something to you, reader...A human being is so carefully constructed, with every blood vessel, every muscle, every nerve, in the right place functioning in only one way that could sustain life...I saw this little boy contradiction, held him in my arms...I felt my entire logic and internal framework being destroyed like a home to a fire....This fire, this flame that I felt wasn't new..I was aware of it before..But it was bigger....brighter...hotter than I've ever felt before...I had came to a epiphany..I was wrong...about everything..I knew God existed in that very moment and could not be moved from it....Now, with the back story over, let me explain the purpose of this blog. This fire was so damaging to my ideas, my thoughts, my heart that I was relegated to ashes...I've since been fighting to rebuild, on  a strong foundation, my faith and my purpose...I've relapsed of course..My main issue is confronting what a "Christian" should be. Is it OK to drink from time to time...is it OK to smoke a cigar...is swearing really wrong if there isn't an intent to hurt...how to battle lust and jealousy...ANGER and forgiveness...I want to have a real forum, where these issues can be discussed, without fear of judgement from people who are suppose to share my love for God. I want to be able to ask questions that push the boundaries of what the Christian mold is..I want to put an exclamation point on how we all differ in these areas, but are all still brothers and sisters trying to accomplish the same things.. I will have a series of posts, about different topics, exploring all of these things, and I hope that it will be comforting, interesting, and informative to all involved.. God Bless- Josh