I'm guilty. I like to have a good debate with others, about varying topics and issues. I think this is normal and most people like challenging others to prove their views. I, personally, find out a lot about my own feelings when I'm put to the test in backing them up in a debate. Usually, you can find out what people are truly passionate about in their defense of it in an argument. People aren't going to typically give a lot of effort or time into debating topics they don't care about. I do my absolute best to respect the opinions of others. I find myself giving major props to those who defend their viewpoint adamantly, whether I believe it is right or wrong. If you cannot show a person why you believe in what you believe in, chances are that it's not that big of a deal to you.
Now, let us take a look as to what can happen when we do not keep our pride in check. I'm going to concentrate on issues that cannot be definitively described as right or wrong; Subjective to the person, if you will. Most people debate things based on opinions. Things that are blatant facts typically aren't discussed because they are mostly proven one way or the other. If we are debating an opinion, why do we dress them as facts? Think about this. Is it really because you are so smart that you know your opinion to be factual, regardless that it hasn't been proven that way by experts? I feel that is more likely that we are so abrasive with our opinions because we like to put others down. We want to know that we are right and someone else is wrong. This, in a way, proves our self worth. In order for us to be right, someone else has to be wrong. This means we have it figured out. We are smarter, and our ways are justified because of this.
This is pride at it's finest. We don't want to accept that we could be wrong about something so we cram our own opinions, even if we know they aren't right, down others throats just so we can save face. You may hurt them, or even convince them they are wrong, just so that you can be right about something. This isn't just mean, it's a classic case of not respecting and loving thy neighbor. You are intentionally trying to hurt someone, by proving them wrong and making them question their own heart. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying to not express your opinion or defend it to the death if you truly feel that it is wrong. My point is this: Express it as your feelings or opinion, in a respectful way, as to not hurt others in the process. Let me give you some example of some issues I hear tossed around and what I'm trying to say about debating them.
Homeschooling
A. Homeschooling is just wrong. It deprives kids of social skills and blinds them to the real world.
B. Homeschooling is the only way. Public schools are awful and you are a bad parent if you put your kids through that.
Opinions that can be hurtful to others, but unnecessarily so. Think about it. A debate can be had here. Just say this:
A. I feel that homeschooling is not the answer for my kids. I feel they will blossom more in a social environment, such as our district school.
B. I feel that homeschooling is the way for my family. I like to be in control of what my kids learn and feel like it's less distracting than putting them in a school.
See the difference here?
Vaccines
A. Vaccines are horrible. Poison! They are putting chemicals in your body that are doing more harm than good. Only idiots would do this! Look at the Ingredients.
B. You are irresponsible if you don't vaccinate your children. You must like for them to suffer from sicknesses that are easily preventable. Only a fool wouldn't take care of their children.
Okay:
A. I've done research and feel that the ingredients used in vaccines may do more harm than good to my children.
B. I've done research and I feel that vaccines are an easy and effective way to prevent illnesses in my children.
I could give other examples, such as: Nutrition/Diet, Environmental issues, Politics, and Religion, but I feel you understand my point here.
See how replacing "Are"/"Isn't" with "Feel"/"May" changes the tone of the debate? You are truly discussing the issue at this point. These things are subjective, open your ears and listen for once! I've learned many things from debating others. Some times I change my perspective when I find an alternative answer to what I was seeking. This is a great way to learn and fellowship with others. Why ruin it with hate and pride?
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