It's a beautiful Saturday morning. You wake up to sun gently warming the side of your face. You take a shower, eat breakfast, brush your teeth, as you do every morning. The kids and your husband are watching cartoons on that new 60 inch TV that you guys purchased a few weeks ago. What to do today? Maybe get everyone together and go out to eat, then the mall? Maybe a movie? You check show times on your i-phone. You decide to just figure something out on the fly and round everyone up. You wrangle them into your Yukon XL and smile, looking and reflecting on your beautifully landscaped yard and home. Life is great, except that it isn't really. There is a silent killer, lurking in the shadows of your personal life that has you pinned to the floor by the throat. It's crushing you and your family, yet you press forward, ignoring it and keeping it quite from friends and love ones.
I was reading the guest post by Marla and it stirred up some complicated feelings that are some times hard to communicate. Money causes all kinds of problems. Greed, materialism, narcissism, and pride are a few examples of things that are exacerbated by the presence of money. I want to talk about something else, for the most part, that many struggle with, including myself: debt.
We, unfortunately, live in a society where it's normal and accepted to be in some form of debt. Car payments, house payments, credit cards, and the like are considered commonplace. Credit is easy to get and easy to abuse. The main issue isn't necessarily our income, but the way we spread our debts as close as we possibly can to our income limit. We leave little to no room for accidents or emergencies, and when these things come up, like they always do, we get behind on payments. One thing leads to another, circumstances collapse on top of you, and the next thing you know you are facing the possibility of losing your home or vehicles.
Why do we do this? I, for one, am extremely bad at managing money. I don't balance a checkbook, and I rarely check my bank account outside of major purchases. This should be an easy thing to do right? Why are people going out to eat four times a week when they cannot pay their car payments? Let's dig in deeper for these answers, because I don't believe it's just because we are stupid.
Debt is an integrity issue. It is a direct result of a lack of responsibility, which can be attributed to ones moral character. Sometimes I know I can't pay something, but I'll still buy my kids new clothes or take them to the zoo. You see, I suffer from this issue from a few different aspects. I make a good living where I work, however, I always spend to that margin, if not over, on a consistent basis. We, as a family, have been battling to correct this over the last few years, but do still slip up from time to time. But why are we, and any of you for that matter, dealing with this so frequently?
When I lived with my parents, I considered the money that I had to be cherished and a privileged. Usually, I got money from either doing chores, or by the good nature of my folks. I didn't spend it on just anything, and I knew that I would have to answer for it if I blew it and didn't have enough money for gas for my car. I respected the people who gave it to me, and that instilled a sense of responsibility for me to do the right thing.
I think the fundamental issue with this is not respecting the money as a gift from God. I know some of you are sitting here shaking your heads, saying that you earned that money, not God, and that you are an adult. We do earn our money by working, but God gives us that ability and the blessings that come with it. Respect the Father, be responsible with the money.
I know of some family members and some friends that have dealt with this issue, and I know there are some of you out there dealing with it now, including myself. It's really difficult to talk about, due to the constant scrutiny that comes with people knowing you have "money issues." It's sad when family and friends talk about you behind your back instead of engaging you in a direct conversation, and this leads to embarrassment, which often leads to ignoring the problem altogether. We should be encouraging each other through positive, meaningful dialect, instead of jumping at the chance to feel superior to others when ever the opportunity arises. Debt is the main issue, and it is our fault, but the embarrassment, constant lecturing and demeaning comments do nothing but hurt the person you are trying to help. Some people struggle with money, like others struggle with alcohol or smoking. We all have our deficiencies.
It's hard dealing with the uncertainty of, what feels like, insurmountable debt. While most people want to rectify the problem, some people just don't have the mental tools to solve the issue. Some people lean on family to help them make it through. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and while God may not be visible, he is walking beside you, guiding you there. Trust in him to help you find clarity and answers in these convoluted times and you will be rewarded when you finally climb out of that giant hole you dug for yourself.
We've been though, or are going though, it all when it comes to finances, and I'm here to talk with anyone who may be facing these issues. There is always someone to talk to, don't deal with the stress alone.
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