Ultimately, our choices and decisions define who we are. What we choose to do, in any circumstance, shows our character and shapes our personality for the world to see. The outcome can lead to questions and confusion, but it's mostly subjective as to who is right and wrong, and whether or not it's really any of our concern to begin with. One such choice that baffles me is the stereotypical "southern man," or in reality, how most of the country believes we act. Don't misunderstand me, as I am not saying that I think all men of the south behave in this way, just that it is more prevalent here.
Let me clarify the suspect here. Most people would identify them as the strong, silent type, or even the tough guy who is "rough around the edges." These guys don't talk about feelings, offer very little emotional support for their family, and generally offer up no excuses as to why they are the way they are. Often I hear they were raised that way, or the even more antiquated dismissal that the Bible commands them to be that way. Usually, they are only concerned with being the financial provider, and may even lord it over their spouse as to why they are the boss of the family. Man is head of the house, right? What year are we in now?
In regards to spousal treatment, the wife is required to do everything in the house, without fail, just because that is the way its suppose to be. This especially comes to mind when I hear "I don't know how to do laundry or the dishes." Are you serious? Look, my wife does most of these things as well, but I do know how, and I will help her throughout the week. It doesn't matter if she stays at home and I work, she isn't my slave. I love my wife, and she does sweet things like make my lunch for work, but it's not out of fear or respect, it's out of love and adoration, which I try to reciprocate as much as I can. The moment she does one of these things and I fail to show gratitude, shame on me. As a side note, I took my son to a monster truck rally last week, by myself. It was the first time I really spent an entire day with my son, without the help of my wife. It was exhausting. My wife is a saint.
The next thing, and even more upsetting to me is the relationship with their kids. You may not even see these "dads" as they are hardly around their offspring. At family events, you seldom see them playing with their kids, or even interacting with them at all. I know we all need breaks sometimes but our kids shouldn't walk by us like we are ghosts, not expecting us to show them any attention at all. These are the kind of dads that refuse to accept that their kids will like anything other than football and hunting. Any artistic or scholastic interests are not even considered, and heaven forbid any unmanly colors are ever worn in their house.
I guess this whole thing just confuses me, to be honest. My kids were converse and DC shoes. I wear band T-shirts and have long hair. What's the deal? Why embrace the archaic idea of what a man in the south should be? You don't have to like country music, drive a truck, or be emotionally void to be a man. What's most interesting to me is that these people are actually the most concerned with their outward perception, even though they seem cold and unmovable. They actually TRY to be this way. It boggles my mind.
I like to be involved in everything my family does. I enjoy playing with my kids. I want them to show their emotions with me and be able to come to me with any problem they have. I love my wife with all of my heart. I am not ashamed.
God Bless.
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