A Nightmare of a Lesson

Since I was young, I've always had a curiosity for the odd, strange, and unknown. Things that would normally creep others out, I found interesting and wanted to explore the whats, whys, and hows about them. This wasn't limited to just paranormal encounters, as I enjoyed to push my brain into finding out why people are the way they seem, especially mental acuity and aspects of the soul. I say these things as a preface to why I'm writing this particular post: I have nightmares. Often.

Now, normally, I usually just shake them off and go back to sleep. Usually, I can account for almost every minute detail, as these dreams are very vivid and unnervingly realistic. I think about writing them down, but I usually give way to the idea that they are pointless. Sometimes, however, certain nightmares will dig deep into my consciousness, leaving me with the distinct feeling that I should be paying attention to the reason I'm having them.  I'm going to relive the one I just had, in order to do just that, in hopes that writing it out can help me make sense of it all.

I went to bed at 2am this morning. I woke up gasping for air, as if someone replaced all the oxygen in the room with despair and I was choking on it. I looked at the clock. 5:27am. I did not go back to sleep. It's currently 7am.

******

Everything is white. Snow covers all that it can touch for what seems like eternity. The wind is biting, and we approach a small log structure, in what appears to be the middle of the deep woods. I dig out a foxhole of sorts, to put us below the howling wind and hopefully be able to rest. My wife, two kids, and I lay under an assortment of blankets and makeshift tarps, as close as we can to each other. Whatever happened to our home, this world, was in the back of our minds as all we had room for was desperation.

It was understood that we could not go into the cabin. The sky was as dull as the steel door that adorned the one entry point into the building. No windows, no markings of any sort. We had heard of this place before. Call it an urban legend, superstition, or whatever, it was known as a place of torment. I'm not sure if it was haunted or possessed, but it's presence unnerved me. Rumor had it that it was dark and lonely, with a permanently burning candle on the one piece of furniture in the place, a table.  Next to the candle, supposedly, there would be a pistol.

Normally, given the conditions, we would have just went in anyways, but we remained about thirty feet away in our hole. Being so close to this place really bothered my mind. My hands were shaking, not from the bitter cold, but from the uneasy feeling that was running through my veins.

Then it happened.

My wife stood up, and starred at me. Her eyes. Once green and vibrant, were lifeless and frigid. She speaks softly, telling me that it was stupid for us to be out here. That this has to end, it's too much to handle. She starts climbing up and out of our hole. I yell at her to come back, that we need her. WE need her, I say, pointing out the sleeping kids. She carries on. Tears feel like they freeze coming down my face, but I do not move. I keep begging her to stop. I hear the door open, then shut with a heart dropping thud.

A few hours later, as the kids wake up, I pack all of our stuff, and we press on. We walk about fifteen feet before I hear the gunshot. My son asks were mommy went. I tell him that she is a coward, and she has went to be with all of the rest of them.

******

The way I see it, there are maybe three possible explanations for this dream. I will detail each one, but please remember that this was a dream and not an indication of my wife in any way. I believe her role in this dream was to really make this hit home for me, as she is the most important thing to me, outside of my kids.

First, It could be that I have a fear of losing my wife. All that she does, and how she loves my family and I, would be irreplaceable.  I cannot imagine life without her, which would explain the fear this dream creates in me.

Secondly, and more superficially, maybe it has to do with being afraid of a world ending event. We've all seen the shows and read the books. Who knows what it will be like. I know I shouldn't be concerned with it, but subconsciously, maybe I am.

Lastly, I would like to dive deeper into this, and give you my personal thoughts as the the meaning of this nightmare. I see a family. It could be any family in anywhere USA. Everyone thinks they are strong and happy, except maybe they aren't. Maybe, one person is really dealing with some difficult mental issues, even if it isn't apparent to the others. Do we really try to dig and help others that are hurting? Do we really care to even notice?

I believe it could really be all three scenarios, but I would also add that I don't think the cabin was real in the dream. Think about it: we were in a desperate situation, with nowhere to turn and no explanation. The cabin represented relief, a way out. A metaphor for suicide. One burning candle that goes out with the bang of the gun.

In the wake of Robin Williams death, I found myself saying what I normally do when someone decides to end their own life: "What a coward. Selfish. What about their family."  I realize, That maybe this was a wake up call.

People are quick to judge the action, but evade responsibility for helping those who are in need. Some Christians add insult to injury by putting eternal damnation on that person's soul. Why are we ignoring the fact that people have real issues, that depression is a major problem that most are unwilling to accept. "Oh, it's just mental thing, they can get over it if they wanted to." WRONG. Some can't, and we should be the first in line to help heal, support, and pray for them.

Some people experience a loss of self. A loss of importance. A loss.

Maybe, we are the cowards for not allowing our hearts to see this suffering.

The Challenge, The Reward.

      The other day, Sarah and I were having a serious discussion about our financial goals, leaving us frustrated and annoyed.  I was extremely upset with myself as I struggled to push my understanding of money responsibility to a point of clarity that I haven't been able to reach yet in my life. I've been praying and pontificating over these issues for a while and it finally hit a pinnacle at that moment. I put my face in my palms and tried to keep it together, but something unexpected happened. It was a simple, honest, gentle answer to my problems, the answer to a question I wasn't asking.
What happened caught me by surprise. 

      As I sat there boiling with anger, my daughter waddled over to me and laid her head on my knee. She stared at me with those big blues, she smiled and proceeded to melt my heart away. I wasn't asking the right questions. Better yet, I wasn't SEEKING the right solutions. It is always about what we can afford, what we should and shouldn't spend money on, how to resolve financial obligations we have made. I needed help. Except, I really didn't. 

     The answer was right in front of me, all 26 pounds of chunky innocence,  wanting me to forget all that other mess and focus on her. In the end, family is the most important thing in life. I know it's cliche, but most cliches are true. I wasn't focusing on what I go to work for. I wear my fingers to the bone for my kids, not for new cars, fancy eating plans, expensive restaurants and such. If I gave my all to ensuring the safety and future of my kids, I would be demonstrating financial responsibility.  Here's the twist: this isn't a post about money. It's about my kids and how they challenge me, yet reward me every second of every day. When I seek the answers to life's issues, I always come back to them. They matter the most, period.

      Being a dad is the most complicated and trying experience I've had to go through. Some days I want to quit, or mostly just eat outside in the peace and quiet. Even on the hardest days, though, my kids are the biggest blessing that God has ever bestowed upon me. They are the greatest reward for all of the crap in life we have to deal with. Remembering your kids in a time of frustration can really help you calm down, and be thankful for the awesome responsibility of being a parent. Most parents know these things, and I am stating mostly obvious stuff here, but I felt it necessary to reiterate how important my children are to me.

     You see, being a parent is more fun than any nightclub or bar. Kids are more exciting than all that traveling you want to do before setting down. They are more rewarding than finishing a marathon or having a ripped body. They are more important than any problem you can possibly face. God is the Father, and he loves us more than anything. This is passed on to us. Being a parent is the purest form of love, therefore, I believe it to be the greatest reward for all of life's challenges.

Week one results

It's been a week, so I thought I would update you guys on my progress. I have been going to the gym five out of seven days, for the last couple of weeks. Most of the time I do ten minutes on a treadmill , or one mile (which ever come first) to get my heart rate up. I have been switching between major muscle groups and have made modest advances in each. On top of this, I've increased my protein intake and adjusted my diet. I will go into detail on this momentarily. My motivation has not dwindled, which has been a positive sign that I can sustain these routines as time goes on.

Revelations.

1. My endurance has dramatically increased since I have been working in assembly. I can easily run a mile, and if I wanted I could probably be in the seven and a half to eight minute range. I have scaled back, however, because I'm trying to gain mass,  and I don't want to be counter productive.
2. I'm consuming way to little calories daily. Most models show an average adult male should be at 2200 calories per day. With my job and lifestyle, I should be at around 2800-3200 range. I struggle to get above 2100 daily. I'm going to have to figure something out.
3.I feel a lot better eating clean and exercising. Nothing to really elaborate on here.
4. This is delicious: Two scoops of protein powder, one cup of vanilla almond milk, two cups of ice, and half a banana equals a frosty like shake.

5. I hate working out my legs. I kind of ignore them, honestly, which I know is bad.  

My wife has made a few great meals including a dish using quinoa, beans, jalapenos and corn. She is a great cook, which makes eating clean really easy.

Highlights.

1. Spinach and mozzarella cheese pizza (handmade). Spinach, cheese, tomatoes (half cherry tomatoes) , crust.
2. Chicken tortilla stew.  Chicken, salsa, corn, bell peppers, tortilla, in a crock pot.
3 . Baked tilapia with asparagus.
4. Turkey baked ziti.  Whole wheat penne pasta, ground turkey, parmesan cheese, and homemade sauce.

We did eat out a couple of times,  which we are working on eliminating. This is one of the hardest things for Sarah abd I  to discontinue. My weight is currently a 176 , which is going in the wrong direction. I will keep you guys posted.

90 Days of Fitness.

A couple of days ago, me and my wife started a fitness plan. We are going to be eating clean and working out at the gym for 90 days to hopefully get in shape before our Sarasota trip. I'm not going to focus on Sarah's results, as she can discuss them when she feels it's right. Hopefully, I will be able to track my meals and progress weekly, and post updates here as much as possible. I think a lot of people have issues with getting healthy, so I'm going to do my best to show what I can do.
I'm not a professional.  I'm not even all that knowledgeable about nutrition and weight lifting technique. I'll be going on what I learned from a personal trainer years ago, and just let my wife cook the clean, mostly nutritious meals that she prefers to make anyways. I would like to put on about 10-20 pounds of muscle, as I'm around 6'2 178lbs currently and would like to get back to 200lbs. I also want to focus on cardio and up my endurance and completion time per mile while running.
I'll be posting photos and tidbits as I go along. Any helpful ideas would be appreciated, as we are novices in these areas. Anyways, that's all for now, as I'm already sore from working out and doing work on Call of Duty earlier, haha.

God Bless.

The "Southern Man" Stereotype.

Ultimately, our choices and decisions define who we are. What we choose to do, in any circumstance, shows our character and shapes our personality for the world to see. The outcome can lead to questions and confusion, but it's mostly subjective as to who is right and wrong, and whether or not it's really any of our concern to begin with. One such choice that baffles me is the stereotypical "southern man," or in reality, how most of the country believes we act. Don't misunderstand me, as I am not saying that I think all men of the south behave in this way, just that it is more prevalent here.

Let me clarify the suspect here. Most people would identify them as the strong, silent type, or even the tough guy who is "rough around the edges." These guys don't talk about feelings, offer very little emotional support for their family, and generally offer up no excuses as to why they are the way they are. Often I hear they were raised that way, or the even more antiquated dismissal that the Bible commands them to be that way. Usually, they are only concerned with being the financial provider, and may even lord it over their spouse as to why they are the boss of the family. Man is head of the house, right? What year are we in now?

In regards to spousal treatment, the wife is required to do everything in the house, without fail, just because that is the way its suppose to be. This especially comes to mind when I hear "I don't know how to do laundry or the dishes." Are you serious? Look, my wife does most of these things as well, but I do know how, and I will help her throughout the week. It doesn't matter if she stays at home and I work, she isn't my slave. I love my wife, and she does sweet things like make my lunch for work, but it's not out of fear or respect, it's out of love and adoration, which I try to reciprocate as much as I can. The moment she does one of these things and I fail to show gratitude, shame on me. As a side note, I took my son to a monster truck rally last week, by myself. It was the first time I really spent an entire day with my son, without the help of my wife. It was exhausting. My wife is a saint.

The next thing, and even more upsetting to me is the relationship with their kids. You may not even see these "dads" as they are hardly around their offspring. At family events, you seldom see them playing with their kids, or even interacting with them at all. I know we all need breaks sometimes but our kids shouldn't walk by us like we are ghosts, not expecting us to show them any attention at all. These are the kind of dads that refuse to accept that their kids will like anything other than football and hunting. Any artistic or scholastic interests are not even considered, and heaven forbid any unmanly colors are ever worn in their house.

I guess this whole thing just confuses me, to be honest. My kids were converse and DC shoes. I wear band T-shirts and have long hair. What's the deal? Why embrace the archaic idea of what a man in the south should be? You don't have to like country music, drive a truck, or be emotionally void to be a man. What's most interesting to me is that these people are actually the most concerned with their outward perception, even though they seem cold and unmovable. They actually TRY to be this way. It boggles my mind.

I like to be involved in everything my family does. I enjoy playing with my kids. I want them to show their emotions with me and be able to come to me with any problem they have. I love my wife with all of my heart. I am not ashamed.

God Bless.

Reset, Restore, Retry

                          
     So, it's been about four months since I last posted, and I felt the urge to get back into writing.  A lot of things have occurred and I would like to share a few thoughts, while pointing out the direction I am going to take this blog.
     First, I would like to address my last post, give updates, and some further insight as to why I stopped contributing. I felt that my point and purpose were being overshadowed by my fear of being judged. While I stated I didn't worry about such things, obviously I was, and it was taking some of my honesty out of what I was writing. When I concluded my last post, I was in a conundrum as to what I was going to do: either quit writing, or come back with a different approach and attitude. I'm back with that new approach, and while I understand it may be controversial to some, it's my honest thoughts and feelings. I'm going to voice my opinion, mostly because I feel compelled to, and also in hopes of creating a place to talk about such things. Last time, I got hung up on worrying about readership, comments, and shares. This time, I am just going to write what I feel and just let the other things fall where they may. I am no longer concerned about what my friends, family, and colleagues think about my heart and soul. I've had family distance themselves from me since I've started this blog. I've seen other bloggers who gave up on their blog, or just chose not to publish anymore. I'm just going to do what I want on this blog from now on, and if you don't like it, you can chose to just ignore my updates.
     Secondly, I would like to share a personal confession of sorts. I didn't realize how much this blog connected me with God. I knew that it certainly helped me, but I didn't know that it was REALLY helping me. I have seen an uptick in my swearing, exponentially, since I quit writing this blog. I've reduced praying to a once or twice scripted affair that is superficial at best. My anger and rage issues have resurfaced. I've completely given up on trying to be different at work, giving in to swearing, gossiping, and generally despicable behavior. I've went completely belligerent while playing Call of Duty, with my son's precious little ears hearing my disgusting mouth. I'm tired of it. I want to at least try to do better, and I haven't been. When I was writing on this blog, It connected me and kept me in a great mental place with God. I prayed more, I though about my actions, and I really tried to be a better person and show love to everyone. I am hoping that I can pick back up where I left off, and try to improve as much as I can.
     Finally, I wanted to let you guys know that I'm going to be changing a few things on this blog. I'm going to start with posting about other stuff than just religion. I want to write about stuff that interests me and maybe start some conversations up that aren't so serious. I'm going to categorize each post so that you guys know what it's about before even clicking on it, so that you can choose to ignore if you would like. For instance, GEEK may have posts about video games, fandoms such as Doctor Who and Sherlock, books, and movies. LIFE may have post about cooking, home improvement stuff, and my family. Obviously, religious stuff would be under the heading of RELIGIOUS, and would include my thoughts, opinions and inner most fears about God, Christianity, and all of us.
     I hope that you guys will keep viewing, and maybe get something out of this blog, even if it's just a laugh or a good read. God Bless,
Josh

Proof that I kinda suck at this blog thing.

Sometimes I get frustrated when it comes to this blog. Honestly, I want people to read it, relate to it, and discuss it with each other. While I know this is a hard thing to request, given the busy nature of our lives, I felt that I could accomplish it to some degree. I've failed though, and I would be lying to say it's not disheartening at times. I spend a lot of time and effort into articulating my opinions and thoughts in the best way possible, as to reach as many as I can, in hopes of bringing all types of believers into the same room. This doesn't work, though, as most people are so set into their own ideas and just butt heads or ignore the issue altogether.

I admit that I look at the statistics of the website from time to time to see the views and such, with the hope of heavier readership each time. In doing so, I have come to a few realizations that I would like to share with you guys. First, this blog is well over 2000 views, and for that I am appreciative. Second, I care too much about how many views this blog has, and it's caused me to miss the mark on what I've truly set out to do, which is to be honest and real. I think this is indicative of human nature. We all want our opinions to matter to others, maybe even help shape their own. We, well most of us, want to feel like we are contributing something good to this diseased world.

You see, this is where I've missed the mark. I have a ton of honest and real opinions on my faith, this world, and more, but I censor myself for various reasons. Whether it is due to family judgement, or a greater fear of people misunderstanding my heart, I scale back my true feelings on some topics, even omitting them from this blog entirely. Why? It is my blog, right? We care so much about what others think about us. This, though, has been a disservice to you guys, this forum, and most of all, myself. I started this blog, as I've stated multiple times, as a place to discuss the hard issues, and non-issues, in Christianity and in live in general. I wanted to give alternative input and ideas that show that not all Christians are judgmental, selfish, misguided people. I built the foundation for such a place, but then failed myself when I worried selfishly about being judged and labeled misguided.

I've been known to stir the pot with my thoughts on certain subjects. The truth is, there is so much more to me and my faith that no one sees, and that is my fault. I should be posting more of those types of thoughts, instead of shying away from people, notably, my family. So, I'm faced with a decision as to what to do with this blog going forward. I could stop writing, fade into the back ground and just shake my head in quite protest when I disagree with someones take on God and how to live our lives. I could do the opposite, and post with completely no concern as to what others may think.

I usually think the most about taking the easy way out and putting an end to this blog. Interestingly enough, though, something usually occurs that pushes me in the other direction. Mostly, it's interactions with everyday people that influence my thoughts here. I see so many people, with the most superficial understanding of God and life, making the most bold and absurd statements, chastising and isolating others for feeling differently than they do. I see the hate that the everyday church has for people that don't put money into their collection plates every Sunday. I see how a lot of Christians focus on bogus stuff that doesn't matter in the long run. Instead of growing in our love for each other, and our Father, we would rather discuss stupid stuff like how swearing and drinking are terrible. Look, I came to one of the clearest revelations in my life, holding a beer and having the simplest of conversations with a few guys. People want to harp on these meaningless, trivial things, when people are truly hurting out there, you know, in the real world. I would venture to say that none of this crap matters, that in the great scheme of things, all that matters is our love and relationship with God. This is what typically keeps me motivated to carry on. I want people to know that not all Christians are narrow-minded, selfish, intellectually inferior sheep. Some of us think for ourselves. We reach out to God on our own accord, not because we are told that we should. I don't need the Bible, The Book of Mormon, or the church at all to tell me that there is a God and how I should live. I believe one of the most famous contributors to the Bible stated that there isn't an excuse to not know God exists. Open your eyes, it's all around us. This is my foundation.

Will I continue this blog? I'm not sure. Maybe my point of view is best reserved for private conversations with other like-minded people. Maybe I'll come back on here tomorrow and post more openly, without fear of judgment. I just want to make sure I'm true to my beliefs and purpose, and continue or not for the right reason. I'll pray and search for the answer, but in the interim, I hope you guys know I love you, and I'm still here to talk whenever needed.

The Suburban Nightmare

It's a beautiful Saturday morning. You wake up to sun gently warming the side of your face. You take a shower, eat breakfast, brush your teeth, as you do every morning. The kids and your husband are watching cartoons on that new 60 inch TV that you guys purchased a few weeks ago. What to do today? Maybe get everyone together and go out to eat, then the mall? Maybe a movie? You check show times on your i-phone. You decide to just figure something out on the fly and round everyone up. You wrangle them into your Yukon XL and smile, looking and reflecting on your beautifully landscaped yard and home. Life is great, except that it isn't really. There is a silent killer, lurking in the shadows of your personal life that has you pinned to the floor by the throat. It's crushing you and your family, yet you press forward, ignoring it and keeping it quite from friends and love ones.

I was reading the guest post by Marla and it stirred up some complicated feelings that are some times hard to communicate. Money causes all kinds of problems. Greed, materialism, narcissism, and pride are a few examples of things that are exacerbated by the presence of money. I want to talk about something else, for the most part, that many struggle with, including myself: debt.

We, unfortunately, live in a society where it's normal and accepted to be in some form of debt. Car payments, house payments, credit cards, and the like are considered commonplace.  Credit is easy to get and easy to abuse. The main issue isn't necessarily our income, but the way we spread our debts as close as we possibly can to our income limit. We leave little to no room for accidents or emergencies, and when these things come up, like they always do, we get behind on payments. One thing leads to another, circumstances collapse on top of you, and the next thing you know you are facing the possibility of losing your home or vehicles.

Why do we do this? I, for one, am extremely bad at managing money. I don't balance a checkbook, and I rarely check my bank account outside of major purchases. This should be an easy thing to do right? Why are people going out to eat four times a week when they cannot pay their car payments? Let's dig in deeper for these answers, because I don't believe it's just because we are stupid.

Debt is an integrity issue. It is a direct result of a lack of responsibility, which can be attributed to ones moral character. Sometimes I know I can't pay something, but I'll still buy my kids new clothes or take them to the zoo. You see, I suffer from this issue from a few different aspects. I make a good living where I work, however, I always spend to that margin, if not over, on a consistent basis. We, as a family, have been battling to correct this over the last few years, but do still slip up from time to time. But why are we, and any of you for that matter, dealing with this so frequently?

When I lived with my parents, I considered the money that I had to be cherished and a privileged. Usually, I got money from either doing chores, or by the good nature of my folks. I didn't spend it on just anything, and I knew that I would have to answer for it if I blew it and didn't have enough money for gas for my car. I respected the people who gave it to me, and that instilled a sense of responsibility for me to do the right thing.

I think the fundamental issue with this is not respecting the money as a gift from God. I know some of you are sitting here shaking your heads, saying that you earned that money, not God, and that you are an adult. We do earn our money by working, but God gives us that ability and the blessings that come with it. Respect the Father, be responsible with the money.

I know of some family members and some friends that have dealt with this issue, and I know there are some of you out there dealing with it now, including myself. It's really difficult to talk about, due to the constant scrutiny that comes with people knowing you have "money issues." It's sad when family and friends talk about you behind your back instead of engaging you in a direct conversation, and this leads to embarrassment, which often leads to ignoring the problem altogether. We should be encouraging each other through positive, meaningful dialect, instead of jumping at the chance to feel superior to others when ever the opportunity arises. Debt is the main issue, and it is our fault, but the embarrassment, constant lecturing and demeaning comments do nothing but hurt the person you are trying to help. Some people struggle with money, like others struggle with alcohol or smoking. We all have our deficiencies.

It's hard dealing with the uncertainty of, what feels like, insurmountable debt. While most people want to rectify the problem, some people just don't have the mental tools to solve the issue. Some people lean on family to help them make it through. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and while God may not be visible, he is walking beside you, guiding you there. Trust in him to help you find clarity and answers in these convoluted times and you will be rewarded when you finally climb out of that giant hole you dug for yourself.

We've been though, or are going though, it all when it comes to finances, and I'm here to talk with anyone who may be facing these issues. There is always someone to talk to, don't deal with the stress alone.

Tears, A Dark Room, and No One's Attention

So, I'm sitting here at 3:40am on a Monday morning and feel compelled to write this entry. I'm listening to a great "Christian band" and the lead singer is almost pleading for someone to care and love him. This kind of stuff really hurts my heart. As I grow in the Love of the Lord, it destroys me when I see others in a bad place. I used to not care. Man I long for the days when I didn't care sometimes. These things create a burden on me that I feel provoked to address and sometimes it consumes my entire attention.

See, when you simply don't care, life is easier. It's easy to be selfish.

I know what it's like to feel negative about myself. I know what it's like to be lonely. I know what it's like to hate everything. I think most people have been through some sort of downward spiral, in which, they didn't see any hope.

Abandon all hope.

Isn't this exactly what God doesn't want you to do? The fact is, some people just cannot press on in adversity, and they may actually need help. HUH? Someone might actually need our help? Is it possible to stop what you are doing for five seconds to care about some one's aching soul?

The answer is yes.

While I'm guilty of oversight when it comes to the spiritual and mental decay of others, I don't want to be that way any longer. If I feel or think something may be wrong, I honestly want to help, if I can. Please don't mistake this as me being "all knowing" or "spiritually advanced", because I'm neither of those things. I just simply don't want others to hurt in silence. As a recipient of God's unbelievably undying love, I know what hope is, and it endures.

Over the last year, through tremendous amounts of stress and adversity, I've mostly managed to keep my head on and lean on Him. This concept has taken me forever to grasp, but finally, I feel the touch of His outstretched hand when I reach out. There is no need for people to live in pain and hurt. Our love for one another and our love in God, should be used to help the ailing. It doesn't matter what the reason for the hurt is. It's never stupid if it causes pain. We are incredibly sensitive beings. God created us with the amazing ability to feel every spectrum of emotion, so that we would know the highs after experiencing the lows.

My friends, not to sound cliche, but the door is seriously always open. Even if we haven't gotten along in the past, I will do my best. I may not have all the answers, but I will do what I can to support and heal any affliction that's harming you.

In the past few months, I've had a few different people contribute to this blog. I'm always amazed when they ask me to post here. It's exactly what I hoped for when starting this blog. I wanted a forum where people could discuss these things openly, come out of the silence and be with others who are willing and ready to assist in any way they can. Every time I think about quitting this blog, something happens that rekindles the flame, whether it be a push from God, or someone telling me that it's helped them. I'll carry on, and I hope that this will truly accomplish something, and all for the glory of our Creator.

Don't ever think that your situation is too personal or too ridiculous to seek the fellowship of others. As Christians, we should be holding each other up, not tearing each other down in judgement. More people are catching on to this, as it is the way it should be. I've done horrible things, and still do from time to time, but my sins are no worse than yours, and vice-versa. We are equals and it's time we treat each other that way so that others don't have to suffer in silence. Get off your righteous throne and mingle with the sinners. No one is below God's love.

Josh

"God, we'd give anything just to feel safe
Deep down, we all know our worth
We just need someone to truly love us first
So we tip toe around these crowded rooms
Hoping someone in attendance might be able to dress our wounds
We cry without uttering a single word
So gather close, circle round
Cause maybe you've just never heard
And I'll tell you the story of the Love I've found
About the Truth embedded in you long before your birth
I'll ask once more
What are these words worth"

Being As An Ocean- "Nothing, Save The Power They're Given"

For Love and Money by Marla

Another great post from a friend, and one we can certainly relate to. Read, reflect, and react.

For Love and Money…

1 Timothy 610 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

    Recently, I have been drifting further away from God and I have been having a miserable time with myself.  I knew that my heart was not in the right place, something was very wrong.  I would pray and ask for strength and guidance, but I had not really opened my eyes as to what the wedge between me and my savior was made of.  Of course, I knew that I had put the wedge there.  Whenever we feel distance from God, it is because we have pulled away.   I had dropped off going to church because (insert whatever excuse you like here) and since I wasn’t attending church, I stopped tithing and stopped studying the word.  My heart wasn’t in it.  Why not?

Matthew 6 19 Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

    I realized just in the past few days that I had succumb to the idea that is constantly being forced down all our throats.  This idea that if you had this or that, then you would be happy.  We live in a consumer driven society, it is all around us.  No big deal, right?  Except when you accept that they are right.  If you had a beautiful home, a new car or that phone that you would be all big-white-smiles like the people in the ads.  For women, I think it is even tougher.  Advertisers are pitching us our perfect selves with flawless skin, lush hair and long lashes.  All of this is readily available if we are willing to shell out the cash.  Then all we need is to fit the gym, eat clean and lose those extra ten pounds and then we will be happy.  Right?  Right? 

    It turns out that if you keep searching for happiness in a purchase, the mirror or in your home you will come up empty-handed every time.  And all those let downs, one after another, will leave you depressed, disheartened and disenchanted.  That is where I am, disenchanted with the things of this world.  I am ready to cut the cord with all this stuff and refocus. 
Titus 2  You, however, must teach what is appropriate with sound doctrine. 2 Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
    One thing that my grandmother has taught me is to ask yourself ‘do I need this?’  I know that I lie to myself from time to time.  “I need new work clothes.  They are for work.  I need them.”  But more often than not, what I need is nothing.  I just don’t want to need nothing, I want things.  So, as part of my effort to refocus my mind and eyes on God, I am going to be more honest with myself.  I am making a list of things that are actually important.  My list will include things like; going to church, tithing, reading the bible, spending time with my family and spending quiet time on my own.

 I am going to practice a little self-control.  I am going to make an effort to derail my weaknesses.  For example, I am scaling back on surfing the Internet/shopping online.  It is way too easy for me to do and I find things I didn’t even know that I wanted, let alone need.  I am going to pray about my purchases.  I read a blog one time in which the woman prayed before she went shopping for something that she actually needed.  If it feels dumb to pray about it, it is probably not important and not a ‘need’.  I am also going to purge some excessive luxuries from my home and donate them to Goodwill.  Hopefully, they will benefit someone in need. 

“And the merchants of the earth grew rich from her excessive luxuries.”

I hope that through these actions; through prayer, tithing, studying the word and actively disengaging (to some degree) from the money machine that we all live in that I will find that the hole that I built in my heart will be filled once more with love.  I know that it will, because I can already feel it.  I am on the right track.

The "There is no God" Double Standard.

I was recalling conversations that I've had with atheists today and came across an interesting point I thought I would quickly share with you. Every atheist I have ever talked with, or read comments by, states that believing in God is wrong because it cannot be proven. Think about this for a second. Basically, they are saying that having faith in the unproven is foolish, and by extension, wrong. I want to run something by you readers. Science is great, but a lot still has to be discovered. Theories, even if they are received by the science community to be the correct IDEA, are still theories. Unproven.

Atheists believe there is no God, yet cannot prove it. They are expressing faith in an IDEA that there is no god, but don't see the double standard they set for themselves.

They like to belittle Christians by calling our belief a fairytale, myth, and etc, but have no way to prove our viewpoint wrong. String Theory, M Theory, Big Bang and the like may prove how things came into existence, but cannot prove there isn't a God.  Some say that they disprove parts of the Bible, but those points are subjective at best, and still don't disprove God's existence.

Just pointing out the double standard, not spreading hate. Calm down atheists, I still love you.

PS. I'm pro-science, I have no dislike for learning more and trying to explain and figure things out. This thought was just about those who feel that we are ridiculous by believing in something we cannot prove, while they do the same thing by saying it's not real yet not being able to provide proof to back up their point.

I Don't Fear God.

I was thinking about fear and God all day today. This is more like an extension, or elaboration of my previous post about Heaven and Hell, so I'll try to be brief because this might sound redundant. I see the phrase "God fearing" quite frequently. In fact, it's used as almost an over-arching motto of a lot of churches these days. I find myself bothered by this notion, honestly. Let's clarify something right off the bat: Respect by fear and respect by love, are two different ideals. If I fear something, say a hot stove top, because I've been burnt by it before, I have a respect for it's ability to hurt me. If I look at the blessings God has bestowed upon me, the family, friends, and life in general, I respect him out of love. See the difference? Respect doesn't equal love. When Christians stop worrying about the wrath of God and the eternal damnation stuff,  they can show the true worth of loving and respecting him because they WANT to. God can do as he pleases. I don't fear that God will punish or pour out his wrath on me, because, honestly, he can and will do what he wants whether I fear it or not. According to the Bible, Jesus took that pain and punishment for us, so what should we be fearing? I choose to be "God Loving" instead. If you look at the greatest commandment that we were ever given, it was to love each other. We were created in God's image, and if he wants us to love one another with all of our hearts, I would safely conclude that God himself is of the greatest form of love. Follow me? I try to drive this point home in most of my posts, and it's really the basis of my entire blog. The post about Hell ruffled some feathers and I understand why. My intent is not to push your buttons, it's to think and dig deeper than the standard Christian mindset. If that's wrong to you, then I respect your opinion and still love you! Don't fear challenging conventional thinking and practice, fear becoming apathetic and lazy in your walk with God. That's what I remind myself of everyday, as I do my best to get closer with my Creator.

Putting An "Out of Order" Tag On The Political Machine.

 So today, I was watching the news during my lunch break at work and saw a story about legalizing marijuana for medicinal purposes. To be more specific, it was in regards to New Jersey, the governor and a child that is dying due to not being able to get access to the drug. While I sat and listened to everyone give their expert advise on how this should be handled, I felt a little piece of me cringe, as if Clemson once again started beating USC at football. Disturbing, huh?  Politics. Where to start......
     I use to be extremely into politics in the not so distant past. I was a die hard conservative, and given the opportunity, I would push my views on everyone. Let me be clear: I still have some of the same views, I'm just not abrasive about it any more. In our country, it's common to be either far right, or far left, with the middle making up the gigantic part of the population who really could care less, but act like they do. Everyone is always blaming each other for everything. Heck, our media outlets cannot even be honest about their agenda any more. Regardless of what we think, there isn't a news medium that does a good job hiding the political prejudice that seeps through every small crack in each reporting. People follow certain stations, websites, TV shows, as if they are the only ones reporting something correct, and will quickly defend it as such when put up against someone who follows different programing.
    Why does this matter? I'm not saying to cave in your beliefs, or not to feel strongly about them, I'm saying that politicians, news programs, talk radio and such are divisive tools that cause people to tear each other apart. I use to listen to talk radio for hours a day. On the way to work, on my lunch break, on the way home. I got so angry listening to it, and when it was all said and done, I did exactly what they were hoping: I HATED the other side. These things serve one purpose and it's to capitalize off your hatred for the opposing views of other people. It took me a long time to understand this.
     The right thinks that liberals only care about expanding government in an attempt to secure their own jobs, while capitalizing off the backs of honest tax payers. The left thinks that the right don't care about people, and want to eliminate all aid for minorities and the poor, while pushing religion and it's practices on the country. Who is right here? I venture to say that it doesn't matter at all. Politicians care about one thing: getting re-elected. Right panders to the gun owning, religion loving, people who think the country should be exactly the way it was founded. Left panders to the people who are dependent on the help they set in place, in the form of social programs, to the people under the poverty level and, honestly, minorities. All they care about is getting votes. They do not care about you, the individual, so why all the hate? We act like these people are walking extensions of our own body, in which we use to batter and beat others who don't agree with us.
     When I sat down and evaluated how God's love had and is changing me from the inside out, I realized that my own political views had changed. While I still fall on the conservative side on topics such as abortion and homosexuality, I've strayed from capitol punishment and the disparagement of all social programs.  I've learned that I don't have to identify with anyone and I can believe what I feel is the right way to believe, regardless of what anyone thinks. I came to the conclusion that I feel myself aligning with the basic principles of my relationship with God, and this makes up what my political beliefs should be.
    I had a reality check a few years ago when I had just changed jobs and couldn't afford the ridiculous insurance premiums. According to the state, my family was under the poverty line, so we qualified for government assistance. While I did not take food stamps or EBT and WIC, we did use Medicaid for a while for my wife and children's health needs. While it could be said that I paid taxes for years to support this program, I still used it and was a giant hypocrite. But the point was, it was there and I needed it. The problem is, while people do abuse it, we assume that everyone does and that nobody truly needs the assistance. This is wrong. If we are to love like Jesus, we should assume the BEST in people, not the worst, and not punish those who are in need for the mistakes of others. This is just one example of how God can work in a person to change their biased views on something for the better.
    I know that all of this can be argued either way, and to be honest, I'm not sure I'm articulating my point well. If you want to love others, you have to love others regardless of their views on this kind of stuff. Stop with all the hate speech and the "clever" Facebook memes 24/7. Respect each others differences, and pray that whatever you believe in is for the glory of God and God alone.

The Lake of Fire and The Kingdom of Light...Of Hell and Heaven.

 Picture from tardis.wiki.com

Stop me when you've heard this before: "Hell is a place where God sends people, who did not accept Jesus as Lord, to be tortured for all of eternity by a creature called Satan" or "There is no hell, because there is no God or Satan." Unfortunately, no one truly knows if hell exists until we die, right? Now, if you dispute that, please offer me some proof, other than the words of the Bible, that shows that hell is real. OK, so you can't. I understand. It's much like believing in God in that it's mostly about feeling and faith. The major difference being, for me anyways, I see proof of God's existence everyday. The sun, the wind, the crisp autumn air on a football Saturday, the absolute perfection in design that is the Earth and all of it's inhabitants. So, where would be proof that a hell exists? Evil? Sins? The denial of God? I think these things may prove that the is a Satan, but not necessarily a hell. Stay with me here, this is going to get interesting!

When looking at duality and how everything has to have an opposite, it's easy to assume that there is a counter to God. I don't disagree on this point. God created a great and wonderful world for us. He gave us free will and, ultimately, the ability to make decisions based on what we want and feel. Think about this. What would be the challenge if God was the only thing for us to be influenced by? It's easy to make good decisions when no negative outcome is possible right? How could you come to know God on a personal level if you couldn't understand what The Light is all about? God is love. God is Light. God is everything wonderful and graceful. If those things were all that penetrated our minds, then how could we honestly come to know God fully? You have to have options in a free will world. I have to have the choice to be good in order for it to mean anything. See how that works? Let's look at a basic example: I have the choice when I get off work to do many things. I could come straight home and be with my family. I could go to the bar and drink myself into a stupor. I could find another woman to commit adultery with, etc... Obviously, I choose number one, because it's what I want and it's the right thing. Some people don't though. This is what makes us who we are. The decisions WE make on our own accord. I do think that God will intervene in some circumstances, when prayer and communication influences our decisions and actions.

Now, I admit that I believe in Satan. There is so much evil that I feel in my inner core that something is responsible for it, not just humans, but something more insidious and darker. I've seen and been exposed to some paranormal events in my life, with people there to back up my experiences. I believe in a hell, in the sense that there is a place where Satan dwells. I have a difference in opinion, however, in contrast to what most Christians believe about hell: It's not a place of eternal damnation. Look, I know this isn't going to be a popular idea, especially with my family, but it's my thoughts and feelings on the matter. Most Christians, and some other religions, believe that there is a place where people who deny their God are eternally punished. I feel that my God transcends this ideology. My God is the God of flowing grace and mercy, undying love and patience. With the limited resources we have here on Earth, and the abundance of outlets for sin and such, it seems very unlikely that God would have expected us to be able to easily follow him. This is what makes it special when we come to God and have that relationship with him. In contrast, I think the same points make it unlikely that God would punish people to everlasting torture for not putting two and two together. Where my grey area is, people who knowingly and purposely commit atrocities, with pure darkness in heart. Maybe there is a place for those types, but I don't think people who simply do not read or believe the Bible, or live in denial, burn for all of eternity. It just doesn't compute in my head. If you look at most religions, you see that there is always a control mechanism, and it is almost always fear. Fear of punishment. Fear of pain and torture. Why? They cannot keep people living and doing what they say without control, right? This is archaic. This is such a primitive way of thinking, but it's been the way since the dawn of religion.

I've been challenging myself to break the chains of conventional Christian thinking. I've tried to stop listening to what other PEOPLE tell me about God, the Bible, and how and what we are suppose to do in life. I've done my best to elevate my thought to just God alone, not religion and what people have done to the idea of God. Remove religion. Remove preconceived notions. Remove the hate and bitterness for our fellow man that religions creates: Other religions, homosexuals, atheists and etc... Just God. Only God. My relationship with my Maker is the most important thing to me. I know I argue with other Christians a lot, and it's not because I don't love them or respect their opinions. It's because I feel that so many people are apathetic about their relationship with God. Unchain God from the ideas that others have spoon fed us. The ultimate way to defeat Satan is to deny him the opportunity to deceive and confuse others, by showing people the Light our Creator has given us.

If you believe the Bible is correct, in that we are damned if we deny Jesus as the savior, and will be banished to eternal torture, that's fine. Everybody has their own beliefs, these are just mine. Maybe those who deny, do end up in that situation. Maybe they end up nowhere, in a state of permanent darkness. Maybe everyone sees the gates of Heaven and the mighty mercy of God. We truly don't know until we die.

Until then, I hope to see you all in the everlasting light that is God's presence.

Keeping In Touch.

 Honestly, sometimes I'm guilty of thinking that no one really cares about anyone outside of their immediate family. The cruelness of the world in general, paired with apathy and self destructive tendencies, lead me to feel that I'm in this alone most of the time. While most people didn't comment on the blog, or the Facebook post, the viewership of the post was one of the highest I've had on TFTF. I think this shows that there are people that do care about each others well being. I just wanted to let you guys know that I appreciate it, and while nothing as changed so far, I feel God moving in our situations. I'm not sure where it will lead us, but I feel the trust between me and my maker growing deeper and deeper, by the day. I ask you guys to continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Anyways, here are some updates since I've been either working on the Top 25 Countdown, or absent.

*My son has went a week without wearing diapers. This is pretty cool, as he picked up potty training rather quickly. He never ceases to amaze me with his smarts and determination. Proud of you buddy!
*This is old news now, but I thought I would say that I think the Justice system worked in the Trayvon Martin case. There wasn't enough evidence and the jurors knew it. It's tiring the way that people like Al Sharpton and the like continue to use black people as a way to make money and garner attention. Making cases about unfortunate situations into race conflicts benefit no one and set the entire country back in terms of growth. There are plenty of cases of black on white, black on black crimes in America that no one talks about. Why? Because the media cannot capitalize on it like they can on a minority. Wake up people.
* I downloaded 3 new Albums that are pretty good. My Heart To Fear- "Algorithm" , We Came as Romans-  "Tracing Back Roots", and my favorite Phinehas- "The Last Words Are Yours To Speak." Phinehas is an amazing band with an extreme heart and understanding of God. Reminds me a lot of Haste The Day.

Also, I would like to mention a couple of situations I would like for you guys to pray for:

 *My sister-in-law and her family are dealing with a health situation that involves her aunt in Michigan. Please keep them in mind and pray for strength and faith during this hard time.
*A good friend of mine is also working on a blog. He has always seemed to have a desire to get close to God, but recently I've seen great things being accomplished in his life. Just keep him in mind and pray that God continues to dig deeper into his heart.
*A friend of mine is struggling with hearing God's voice in an important decision that his family is going to be making soon. Pray that he finds clarity and understanding of God's will.

I know this is a departure from my normal blogging structure, but I just wanted to touch base as I'm having a hard time concentrating due to all the stuff going on in my life at the moment. Hopefully I'll get back to writing weekly as things settle down.

Josh

Prayers

Hey guys,
       I don't have too much to say today, but I wanted to ask you guys if you could do something for my family. We are in need of prayer over a couple of situations currently (everyone is OK, it's nothing like that). While I am not currently courageous enough to explain further, it's important and can be a game changer in our lives. I've been battling the mentality that God is in control and to have faith in Him, but it's difficult to feel like I'm not driving my own car, so to speak. I feel that God does answer prayers, I'm just uncertain that I truly have enough faith to let Him handle it. I hope to be able to elaborate on this more when I can give a "praise report" about it in the future, I just need to come to terms that it may not work out the way we want it to. Pray for clarity and understanding of whatever is God's will in our circumstances. Thank you!

God Bless,

Josh

My Top 25 Music Countdown- 5-1

And the final five are......

5.  The Seeking- Yours Forever (Alternative/Hardcore)

    I found out about this band because they were touring with a few of my favorites. I wanted to see what they were about and was pleasantly surprised. While most hardcore type bands sound like a screaming band with some melodic vocals from time to time, The Seeking sounds more like an alternative/rock band that screams every once in a while. What this does is put an emphasis on great vocals, the like of which I haven't heard from a band in this genre. On top of all of this, the lyrics are great and deep, and these guys are stand up Christians and awesome live.

Favorite songs- "Take It From Me", "So Cold", "Narrow Lines", "You Won't Bring Me Down", "Restless", "Change My Ways."

 

4. Thousand Foot Krutch- Set It Off (Rap rock/Alternative)

 

     I don't know how else to say it. I love this CD. It takes me back to when music was fun and I was still a kid. TFK has been in the Christian music scene for like a decade now, and while I like most of their stuff, this CD has always been my favorite. Good, fun, clean lyrics, with a clear and evident focus on God. It may seem a little cheesy now for those of you that haven't ever listened to these guys,  but this album jams from front to back.



Favorite songs: "When In Doubt", "Rhime Animal", "Supafly", "Alternative Song", "Lift It", "All The Way Live."

 

 

3.  Emery- The Question (Rock/Hardcore)

 

    This is probably the album that most Emery fans love the most, I would say.  Some of the best songs of Emery's long career in the scene are found on this CD. I find the sing to scream ratio to be just about perfect on The Question, with some of the best lyrics Emery has to offer. I can still remember me and the guys rocking out this this CD in the car, and while those days have passed, I still listen to most of these songs on my IPod.

 

Favorite songs- "So Cold I Could See My Breath", "Studying Politics", "Left With Alibis and Lying Eyes", "Playing With Fire."

 

 

 

2. Everyday Sunday- Wake Up! Wake Up! (Punk/Pop Rock)

 

  It's rare that a album come around and I can listen to every track on it, over and over again. This is one of them. With catchy music and heartfelt lyrics, this CD has been stuck in my playlist since it came out. These guys are a lot like Relient K, in that, they express their faith openly and without shame. While Everyday Sunday has put out at least three CDs that I would consider to be great, this one stands out as one of my all time favorites. Most of the songs are fun and easy to sing a long with, while others can make you cry in reflection.

 

Favorite songs: "Wake Up! Wake Up", "Find Me Tonight", "Tell Me You'll Be There", "Apathy For Apologies", "Let's Go Back."

 

 

And now to my number one album. I know that absolutely no one will agree with this, and that's fine, because this is my countdown. I hope you guys have enjoyed this as much as I have enjoyed doing it for you!

 

1. Haste The Day- Attack Of The Wolf King  (Post-Hardcore/Metal)

 

    Where to start. Well, HTD has been around for a long, long time. As I am typing this, they are currently no longer a band, with "Attack Of The Wolf King" being their last album. Throughout years and quite a few albums, HTD have always been true to their faith. It's hard to find bands that care as much about God as they do about making money. This CD is hard. It's 2/3 screaming, but the clean vocals are awesome as well. The screaming is actually what makes this CD so good for me. Amazing passion and feeling, with no compromise in lyrical integrity. This album really explores what it's like to be consumed by darkness and sin, and how to come back to God's open arms. There is such a feeling of despair, but always with hope prevailing. I love the lyrics to "Travesty" that state:

 

"You cover me!

I am spent
and with death you paid my ransom
for the witness of your word.
To bring them in,
the jackal's sin.

Oh, the eyes death are upon me
and the watchman takes his toll.
If the river runs dry it will never take us home.
With idle minds we prove unconscious.
As the hunter stalks his prey.
His eyes, his eyes are locked on me

You cover the darkest part of me
with a look that's sure to set the captives free.

Oh, make way
for I am not the redeemer
Nor do the mountains fall in my name
But with slightest cry, my hunter,
you will fail to reach your prey.

Still with idle minds unconscious,
as the hunter stalks his prey.
His eyes, his eyes are locked on me.

You cover the darkest part of me
with a look that's sure to set the captives free.
With love that the blindest eyes will see,
You cover the darkest part of me.

As I am met with travesty,
and I am broken and I am empty.
And through it all I can see your face.
With words unspoken
I hear your voice and
I see the hand, The hand that writes it all.
You've called the wind to show its worth.
You've called the sun to brag about its warmth.
Because you are the writer!
Because you are the soul of the world.

You cover the darkest part of me
with a look that's sure to set the captives free.
With love that the blindest eyes will see
You cover the darkest part of me.

Because you are the writer!"

 

These are unbelievable lyrics. I get emotional every time I hear this song, and most of them are like this throughout the entire CD. If I could sum up this album with one word it would be passion. Passion for fellow man, passion for a closeness to God, and it shows clearly in all of their music. The lone slow song with no screaming is "White as snow" and it shows these guys are very talented musicians.

 

Favorite songs- "Travesty", "Dog Like Vultures", "White As Snow", "Crush Resistance", Wake Up The Sun", "Walk With A Crooked Spine", "The Un-Manifest"

 

 

 

 

 

 



My Top 25 Music Countdown:10-6

Change in format for the top ten...Enjoy.

10. PAX 217- Twoseventeen (rap rock/rock)

     This is one of the most played albums I have ever owned. It was one of the first Christian albums I found that was outside of the normal "contemporary" category, and it's replay value was huge. Every song brings back a memory for me. From front to back, I can sing along with all of the tracks and I still don't get tired of them. It's a fun mix of rap and rock, with simple and memorable lyrics. There really isn't anything complicated or fancy here, just good music that never gets old.

Favorite songs- "Sandbox Praise", "Prism", "Gratitude", "No Place Like Home."

9. Showbread- Age Of Reptiles (Rock/Hardcore)

     This particular CD has always been interesting to me. Showbread's style changes from CD to CD, but this was by far my favorite. It is really aggressive and in your face, and the underlying message in  the lyrics is undeniable. This is sort of a concept type album that uses metaphors and can be hard to decipher if you didn't already know these guys are hardcore Christians. One of a kind music and heart in this CD.

Favorite songs- "Centipede Sisters", "Jesus Lizard", "Oh, Emetophobia" ,"Your Owls Are Hooting."



8. Emery- We Do What We Want (Hardcore/Metal)

      This album jams. Emery has went through some stylistic changes over the years, but this last CD is "rock your socks off" good. The music and opening screams go straight for the throat, while Emery shows they still have a ton of lyrical creativity. I personally love the way Emery screams your face off, then comes right back around with great vocals and a slower pace.

Favorite songs- "Anchors", "I'm Not Here For The Rage..", "Scissors", "The Cheval Glass."

7. Underoath- They're Only Chasing Safety (Hardcore/Metal)

      This was one of the first Christian hardcore albums I ever owned. The screaming does a great job of conveying emotion, but it's Gillespie's voice that I really love after the chaos settles down. These guys opened a lot of doors for "alternative Christian" music to become more popular. There is a ton of great music on this CD, if you're brave enough to give it a try.

Favorite songs- "It's Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door", "Reinventing Your Exit", "I Don't Feel Very Receptive Today", "Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape."

6. Relient K- MmhmM  (Punk/rock)

  This CD is the epitome of what Relient K is about: Fun songs that are great to listen to, with great lyrics about their relationship with God. RK is outspoken on the Christian front, and have been pioneers for this genre of music for a VERY long time. This is way above any music you will hear on the radio. It has heart and soul, but most importantly, it's amazing music.

Favorite songs- "Who I am Hates Who I've Been", "I So Hate Consequences", "Life After Death and Taxes", "This Week The Trend."

More honorable mentions:

Memphis May Fire- "Challenger"

Everyone Dies In Utah- "Seeing Clearly" and "Polarities"

Ivoryline- "There Came A Lion"

     

My Top 25 Music Countdown: 15-11

Here we go again...


15. Sent By Ravens- Mean What You Say (Rock)
     

 

        *Radio friendly rock, without compromising lyrical or musical integrity.

        *Inspiring and truthful lyrics.

        * Best songs- "Learn From The Night", "We're All Liars", "However Long It Takes."

                             

 

14. O.C. Supertones- Loud and Clear (Ska/Punk)

 

      *One of my all time favorites. Makes me think of my early high school days.
      * Ska Music....Fun, right?
      * Mostly God centered lyrics
      * Best songs-  "What It Comes To", "Lift Me Up", "Return Of The Revolution."

             
13. Ivoryline- Vessels (Rock/indie)
        

              *Lyrics....Great stuff here. Meaningful, almost worship like.
              *Good mix of music.
              * Unashamed in what they believe in.
              * Best songs- "Made From Dust", "The Healing", "Instincts."

 

 

12.  Emery- The Weak's End (Hardcore/Rock)

      

 

         *Emery's first CD, still one of my favorites to this day.

         * Hard, edgy, in your face emotion.

         * Realistic Christian views.

         * Best songs- "Walls", "Ponytail Parades", "Fractions."

               

 

11.  Wolves At The Gate- Captors (Hardcore/Rock)

    

 

                * Lyrics that are clearly and blatantly about God.

                * Lead singer can sing well, which mixes great with the screaming.

                * Songs will bring you to a state of reflection.

                *Best songs- "Dead Man", "Step Out To The Water", "The Harvest."

                     

 

"Dead Man" by Wolves At The Gate is one of the best videos I've ever had the pleasure of viewing, just as a side note.

 

More honorable mentions:

Matt and Toby- Self titled (Best songs- "Take Me Oh Lord", "Life Of The Party")

We Came As Romans- Understanding What We've Grown To Be (Best songs- "A War Inside", "Understanding What We've Grown To Be")

Thousand Foot Krutch- Phenomenon (Best songs- "Phenomenon", "Rawkfist")